Absence Makes the Heart Evolve

miss you


This is a special post for my friend Jesus Martinez, Jr.  who lost his aunt this week.  I lost my grandmother, my “MumMum”, shortly after returning to Pittsburgh in 2009.  There is so much of her in me that I felt this incredible emptiness inside that tortured me.  My husband told me that the hole that she left in my heart would force me to evolve as a person.  He was right.  Occasionally, I hear her words and voice come out of my throat.  I can practically see her bony finger poking someone in the chest when he/she is being unkind to me.  And I can feel her around me giving me her strength at every low-point and at every achievement.    So for Jesus’ tia, my husband’s father, my grandmother, and for anyone who has ever lost someone, here is an excerpt from my book, Live in Your Brilliance.

Absence Makes the Heart Evolve

The absence of someone you love is difficult (and that is putting it mildly).  Whether it is a death in the family or a child away at college, it changes the life that you once knew.   You may feel like there is a hole in your heart or world.  However, know that the Universe hates a void.  It will slowly, but surely fill the empty space that you feel.  Your heart will evolve to compensate for the absence of that loved one.  Your personality may change a bit and that’s OK. You may suddenly feel stronger than you ever have before or you may even feel out-of-place and  hunger for a change.   Things that once bothered you will now seem unimportant.  Or there may be certain things that you adamantly refused to put up with any longer.

Whatever the case, today remember fondly those you miss and let them be your new strength.


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