Real Men


Today’s post is inspired by the Good Men Project’s article 28 Ways to Spot a Real Man.  I actually teared up reading some of these ways and further teared up when I thought about the real men in my life.  And most of the real men in my life have real men in their lives.  Most of my male friends are gay.

Often in our society gay men are not considered “real men” due to preconceived notions that they are feminine in nature.  If you think this, you are sadly misguided.  My male friends who happen to be gay taught me what it meant to me a real man and ultimately led me to find my husband.

These men took care of me in a way that I was unaccustomed to from straight men.  These men held my  doors, carried my groceries, walked me to trains and across dark parking lots, called to make sure I got home safely.  They held my hand, supported my work and my dreams, talked me down from the ledge when I was ragging against the world and would drop what they were doing to help me.  They inspired me to reconnect with God when I was weary, gently told me when I was a hot mess, and helped me regain my dignity.  And they would give a verbal and literal whipping to anyone who hurt me.   They have shared their strength, love, peace, and pride with me. I love them for all of these reasons and more.

One day I realized, that I needed a man who treated me as well as these men did.  I realized that I was  settling for so much less from the men that I was dating.  Then I met Charlie.  He held my doors, carried my groceries, bought me things I needed (one of his first gifts to me was a garbage can because mine was cracked), he talked me down when things were rough and told me “we will get through this together. You and me babe!”, he held my hand and kissed my forehead, he supported my work and dreams, and he inspired me to relax and reconnect with my inner-self. Yes, he even found gentle ways tell me when I was a mess.  He still does these things for me and more.  And, now, I am proud to call this real man my husband.

Today,  I celebrate and am grateful for the real men in my life. I love you all!


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