Beware the Whisperer

A few years ago I was living in Chicago on my own for the first time- no parents, no roommates, no boyfriend.  I loved it, but I was in the habit of feeling alienated and annoyed with my life.  (Notice I say “in the habit.”)  One night before I drifted off to sleep, I heard a whisper in my head that said, “I just want to be left alone.”  I realized that I had this thought all the time.  Not only did I think this, I said this phrase probably several times a day and had for a few years.  You see, while I did love being on my own, I was lonely and really wanted a boyfriend and more friends.  It occurred to me that I was alone, because I was putting it out into the Universe several times a day that I wanted to be alone.  Have you done something like this?

The Whisperer is hard to catch, because it is a repetitive thought that you may have had for years.  It often gets crowed in with other thoughts of your day, so you may not even notice that the Whisperer is there. The best time to actually hear it is right before you fall asleep or just as you wake up.  I heard mine this morning say, “I feel like crap.”  I haven’t slept as much as I like, but I certainly don’t feel like crap; I instantly told myself, “I feel good.”  Not a total truth, but a better investment of thought.  I can always get more sleep to feel better, but I knew I would have a terrible day if I let that thought permeate me.   Again, it occurred to me that I’ve been saying this phrase for the last couple weeks.  I’ve been saying this to myself through out the day, to my mother when I talk to her on the phone and to my husband when he asks how I’m doing.  I often suffer from insomnia, which doesn’t leave me in peak condition, but giving power to such a negative thought is certainly not helping matters.

When you catch the Whisperer, draw your sword and lop its head off with the direct opposite thought! It says you’re worthless, you say you’re valuable.  It says you’re depressed, you say you’re full of joy.  It says you’re fat, you say you are fit and healthy.  Be warned the Whisperer’s “head” tends to grow back, so you will need to be vigilant in your opposite message.  Say it over and over again if you must. Your counter points don’t have to be true in the moment, but they will become the truth the more you say them. You may even need to seek a professional’s help to catch all that the Whisperer is saying to you so that you can best combat it.

Finally, if you are having trouble finding the right words to fight the Whisperer, just take a page out of Stuart Smalley’s book…


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